Teachers should harness technology to find gaps in student knowledge

So do we all agree with edX president Anant Agarwal that technology might be the “single biggest innovation in education” in the last 200 years?  It certainly seems possible.

Technology ’will topple many ideas about how we teach’.

Because education is economically important yet appears inefficient and static with respect to technology, it’s often cited (along with health care) as the next industry ripe for a major “disruption.” This belief has been promoted by Clayton Christensen, the influential Harvard Business School professor who coined the term “disruptive technology.” In two books on education, he laid a blueprint for online learning: it will continue to spread and get better, and eventually it will topple many ideas about how we teach—and possibly some institutions as well.

My observation as a parent is that technology is unlikely to make human teachers obsolete any time soon, but the opportunity for schools to use data more efficiently screams out as a way to improve human teachers.

Technology will define where online education goes next. All those millions of students clicking online can have their progress tracked, logged, studied, and probably influenced, too. Talk to Khan or anyone behind the MOOCs (which largely sprang from university departments interested in computer intelligence) and they’ll all say their eventual goal isn’t to stream videos but to perfect education through the scientific use of data. Just imagine, they say, software that maps an individual’s knowledge and offers a lesson plan unique to him or her. Will they succeed and create something truly different? If they do, we’ll have the answer to our question: online learning will be the most important innovation in education in the last 200 years.

Teachers should harness technology to find gaps in student knowledge.

I recently heard a local high school teacher claim he did not have time to conduct formative assessments*.  Part of the school’s explanation for this was that excessive mandatory testing requirements left no time for teachers to find student’s gaps in knowledge.  I’m not buying this, because Khan Academy and other sources offer “software that maps an individual’s knowledge”.  I’ve had a brief glimpse of education software used in our public schools that also does this, generating data similar to that provided by KA.

Personalized data like this would enable a teacher to use his time more efficiently, even making differentiated instruction more feasible.  But instead, a school that claims it is teaching 21st century skills is letting its instructors rely on clunky data-gathering methods that shortchange its students.  Unfortunately, it’s going to take a little while for technology to disrupt this school’s hold on teaching methods.

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* Formative assessment or diagnostic testing is a range of formal and informal assessment procedures employed by teachers during the learning process in order to modify teaching and learning activities to improve student attainment.[1] It typically involves qualitative feedback (rather than scores) for both student and teacher that focuses on the details of content and performance.[2] It is commonly contrasted with summative assessment, which seeks to monitor educational outcomes, often for purposes of external accountability.[3]

Literacy instruction in public schools is ‘Dismal’

Arising out my frustration with the spotty quality of English instruction in our public schools, I have created an index that I choose to call the “Excellence in Literacy Instruction” (ELI).  It’s my whimsical measure of the quality of public high school literacy instruction, admittedly with no basis in science.  Here is how I calculate the index.

1. Select the five best-selling English Language Arts resources for tenth-grade students from the Teachers pay Teachers website, an “online marketplace where teachers buy and sell … educational materials”.
2. Assign each resource a upward-facing arrow ( ↑ ) or a downward-facing arrow ( ↓ ) based on my view on how well the lessons help in preparing a student for college-level work.
3. Add up the total arrows to calculate the “ELI Index” score, which can range from “Excellent”  (↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑) to “Dismal”   (↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓) based on the number of arrows in each direction.

Here’s the current edition of the “ELI Index”

Best-selling ELA resources, with my comments and arrow scores:

↓  “Hunger Games” Unit: Lessons Q&A Tests Activities Quiz Vocab Maps Key“  - A 5th-grade reading level book

↓   Creative Activities for ANY Novel or Short Story with Handouts - Activities include making recipes, writing a rap song, drawing a comic strip, etc.

↓   Hunger Games Teaching Unit CD Lessons, Quizzes, Tests, Activities  - A 5th-grade reading level book

↓   Reading Comprehension Strategy Resource Binder - After 7th grade “increased practice with reading comprehension strategies doesn’t bring any improved benefit“.

↓  Facebook Character Page — Versatile Activity for any Character - Facebook?  Do teens need more Facebook practice?

Final Score for the “ELI Index”:

Dismal - ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

Falling down on college preparation

Educators sometimes argue that above all else schools must develop the love of reading among their students.  This attitude supports the indiscriminate use of “fun” classroom projects instead of rigorous lessons, and a focus on letting students read and write whatever they want.  This comment is from a Joanne Jacobs post on the popularity of assigning The Hunger Games for high school reading.

If everyone is fine with kids graduating high school with a love of reading, but an inability to read college level texts, I think there is no problem. The problem comes when these kids graduate high school thinking that they are ready for college level texts and they aren’t. And if the kids are still working on 5th grade grammar/vocabulary in 10th and 11th grade time is running short.

Amen.

Related:  High school students are assigned too many FIFTH-GRADE books (Cost of College)

The messy Chicago teachers’ strike

The Chicago teachers’ strike has entered its second week after teachers decided they need more time to review the tentative contract.  Calling the strike illegal, Mayor Rahm Emanuel is asking the court to force the teachers back to the classrooms.

The major issues are teacher evaluations, job security, and a longer school day.  

Chicago public schools have problems.

… 99.7% of Chicago teachers are rated satisfactory while the graduation rate is just 60%, only 20% of eighth-graders are proficient in reading and less than 8% of 11th-graders are college-ready on state tests….

… The average Chicago public-school teacher is the best-paid in the country, making between $71,000 (the union’s calculation) and $76,000 (the city’s). And that’s not counting benefits and pensions, paid days off, summer vacation and more. Teachers in New York and Los Angeles earn slightly less, and then the list drops off dramatically, with Dallas and Miami paying around $53,000 on average.

Even with dismal academic results and with a seemingly generous contract offer of a 16% raise over four years, 47% of registered voters support the striking teachers while only 39% oppose it.  Among the reasons for the public’s backing:

General pro-union sentiment

Unions are still hallowed organizations in Chicago, and the teachers union holds a special place of honor in many households where children often grow up to join the same police, firefighter or trade unions as their parents and grandparents.

The union won the PR battle.

To win friends, the union has engaged in something of a publicity campaign, telling parents repeatedly about problems with schools and the barriers that have made it more difficult to serve their kids. They cite classrooms that are stifling hot without air conditioning, important books that are unavailable and supplies as basic as toilet paper that are sometimes in short supply.

“They’ve been keeping me informed about that for months and months,” Grant said.

It was a shrewd tactic, said Robert Bruno, professor of labor and employment relations at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

“This union figured out they couldn’t assume the public would be on their side so they went out and actively engaged in getting parent support,” Bruno said. “They worked like the devil to get it.”

Even though they may be unhappy with schools in general, parents tend to like the teachers they know.

… People generally like their kids’ teachers. Even those who may dislike the union like their teachers. They may agree with the notion of stronger assessments for teachers and perhaps also be against the union call for automatically rehiring those laid-off when vacancies do occur. But they like their teachers and so cast their lot with them.

It’s a dynamic at play whenever the under-performing Chicago system, which is beset by huge deficits, tries to close or consolidates schools. The school board usually gets its way but not before a very public uproar. Even parents at what are clearly low quality, poorly performing schools rise to protest. There’s a bond that blinds them to larger realities but ties them to that neighborhood building without any air conditioning.

Even after this strike is resolved, serious pension issues portend more education troubles ahead.  In Illinois, 71 cents of every new state education dollar goes to teachers’ retirement benefits, not to schools.  Earlier this year the state’s cedit rating was downgraded due to pension problems.

The teachers’ fund is one of the country’s worst-financed statewide pension systems, reporting that it is only 47 percent funded. And that’s if you buy the system’s rosy accounting assumptions, including that it will achieve 8.5 percent annual returns on its assets. This level is tied for the most aggressive investment assumption among state pension funds in the country, and the fund has had to get creative in an effort to meet it. Pensions & Investments magazine says it has the fourth-riskiest pension investment portfolio in the U.S., with less than 17 percent of its investments in fixed income and cash.
Illinois Is Pension Basket Case You Forgot About (Bloomberg)

Related:

• Why Is Obama So Quiet about the Chicago Teachers’ Strike? (National Review) 
• Q&A: What’s behind the Chicago teachers’ strike? (CNN)
• Parents like their children’s schools, but unhappy with schools in general (Cost of College)

Which curriculum would you choose? watered down, or content-rich rigorous

Would you rather have a dumbed down curriculum for your children or a content-rich, rigorous one?

Which of these two examples would you rather have for your children’s middle or high school English course?  They are pulled from two different teacher guides.
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Example A – five lessons that cover a section of The Outsiders.

The Outsiders, a young adult novel with a 5th grade reading level, has become a standard assignment in many public schools.   These lessons feature cooperative learning, hands on projects, and self-reflective writing.

1.  Hands-On Project – “Tuff” collage

“Tough and tuff are two different words. Tough is the same as rough; tuff means cool, sharp–like a tuff-looking Mustang or a tuff record.”  -  Ponyboy

… For this project, make a collage or montage of what is tuff.

Suggested materials include:  a large piece of posterboard for the display; magazines, newspapers, and other print media; fabric samples; jewelry; nail polish and lipstick; pictures of tuff people.  (Not very gender neutral?)  The finished display is shared with the class.

2.  Cooperative Learning Activity – Making Rules

Students are assigned to work in small groups to plan how they would manage if their parents left them alone for a month.  They assign jobs to each member, plan meals, make house rules, schedule activities, determine emergency procedures, and resolve conflicts. This activity relates to the main characters in The Outsiders who managed to live without their parents.

3.  Reading Response Assignment – Personal Journal

Students are asked to create a reading response journal to record their thoughts, observations, ideas, and questions as they read The Outsiders.  They can use a “diary-type” format, with personal reflections to be read by the teacher in a non-judgemental way with no corrections or letter grades.  A list of suggested teacher responses is provided, including “Wow!  That’s interesting stuff!”

The two other lessons included a social science group project and a quiz.
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Example B – three lessons that cover the Gettysburg Address.

The Gettysburg Address (11/12th grade reading level) is typically studied in history class, but these lessons are intended for an English course.

1.  Understanding The Gettysburg Address

Students are divided into groups and each group is assigned to “translate” one sentence from the Gettysburg Address. Students will use a dictionary and/or thesaurus to rewrite the sentence in their own words.  These student sentences are compiled, and the meaning of Lincoln’s speech is discussed in class.  Afterwards students complete a worksheet and a quiz that tests their understanding.

2.  The Language Of The Gettysburg Address

Students receive instruction on rhetorical devices used by Lincoln – grammatical parallelism, antithesis,
alliteration, and repetition.  Using a worksheet, students are asked to identify examples of these devices and then create a persuasive speech modeled on Lincoln’s presentation.  It is suggested that students present their speeches to the class.

3.  A Civil Conversation

This exercise takes the form of a respectful debate, where students are asked to discuss ideas from the Gettysburg Address.  They select areas of agreement and disagreement, using the text to support their ideas.  They are instructed to focus on ideas not on personalities, and to find areas of common ground among other class members.

Among the objectives of the Gettysburg Address lessons:

• Learn the main concepts of the Gettysburg Address and understand its place in history
• Apply word analysis and vocabulary skills in comprehending the speech.
• Write a concise persuasive speech.
• Identify and apply various literary devices
• Practice respectful and fact-based debate

…
A few observations:

• I would rather have the Gettysburg Address lessons for my own children.
• From what I have seen, The Outsiders lessons are more typical of  public school English curriculum.  Students spend hours and hours on poster projects and group projects, which apparently tend to lower IQ.
• When I say that I believe more rigorous curriculum could improve SAT scores, these examples are what I have in mind.  Class days spent on poster projects, group discussions about menu planning, and uncorrected personal journals are not likely to teach the skills measured by SAT exams.

HT Kitchen Table Math

Related:

• 2012 New York Regents ‘English exam appears to be the easiest in memory’ (Cost of College)
• High school students are assigned too many FIFTH-GRADE books (Cost of College)
• Core Knowledge nonfiction curriculum proves better than ‘balanced literacy’ (Cost of College)

Differentiation places an unreasonable demand on teachers

Differentiating instruction in today’s mixed-proficiency classrooms is tough on teachers, and it’s certainly not always best for students.

83% [CORRECTED*] of teachers surveyed said that in practice, differentiated instruction is difficult to implement.

Malcolm Unwell explains it this way.

Perhaps there is a student who is just learning English in your class. And perhaps that student sits next to another who wants to have an in-depth discussion about Shakespeare. Should these two students prove difficult to teach at once, a normal person might consider what the root problem is — that they shouldn’t be in the same class. But the wise education bureaucrat knows that any problem here must be the teacher’s — he must not have differentiated his instruction enough.

Separating students according to ability is traditionally known as “tracking,” and it is frowned upon by the educational establishment.  Having students of varying ability in the same class is known as “inclusion,” and it is smiled upon.  While I was earning my MAT, I quickly realized that advocating tracking was simply not a valid position to put forth in education world, or “thought world” as E.D. Hirsch described it.  Tracking is unfair, and undemocratic.  It perpetuates the pattern of hegemony and domination present in the larger culture.

A local school administrator told parents that tracking students before 8th grade would permanently scar them.  Consequently, in our local district almost all classrooms up to 9th grade are mixed proficiency.  The elementary math program requires that the teacher spend the first part of class on a lesson geared towards all her students, with the expectation that everyone will learn something from it.  In reality, some struggling students still don’t comprehend it and some advanced students are bored.  After this whole group introduction, then the teacher is supposed to differentiate instruction for all proficiency levels.  Problems are “adapted for multiple ability levels”

These problems are sometimes referred to as “low threshold, high ceiling” problems because all students can understand the problem and solve some part of it (low threshold), but even the highest-ability students in the class will not easily complete it (high ceiling).

So teachers present adapted versions of the same problem, tailoring them to personal proficiency levels.  In theory it sounds nice, but in practice it must be much more challenging than teaching to a homogeneous group of students.  I always think of how inefficient it is, especially when reformers call out for longer school days.

It is now unacceptable to simply teach a lesson to a class, and assess the students according to how well he demonstrates his knowledge of the content.  Different students should have different lessons with different assessments.  Needless to say, this is completely unworkable  in practice.  It is doubtful, really, that any teacher actually does this.  If one did, it would likely be a chaotic disaster in which learning is incidental or nonexistent.

In this differentiated instruction environment, all students can be “successful”.  But parents should be aware that it may be at a “low threshold” of success.

* The percentage was off by 1 point before I corrected it.

Hat tip to Joanne Jacobs

Phonics instruction helps boys close the gender literacy gap

Phonics instruction helps boys close the gender gap on reading skills according to recent research findings.

The use of more traditional phonetics-based lessons helps boys catch up with girls – even doing better on some tests – and prevents some children from needing ‘special’ schooling, according to new research findings.

Better for low-income students

A study of synthetic phonics also found children from disadvantaged backgrounds do as well as those from better off homes.

Fewer students assigned to special education classes

“We found children were performing well who might otherwise have ended up in special teaching arrangements,” she added.

Whole language replaced phonics instruction
Beginning in the 1960s, synthetic phonics was replaced in favor of whole language and later balanced literacy instruction.  Instead of learning the sounds that make up words (phonics), students were taught to guess at words based on content and pictures (whole language).

This study was conducted in Scotland, and in January it was reported that thousands of primary schools in the UK have signed up to participate in an initiative to increase funding for phonics instruction.

UK Schools Minister Nick Gibb on the phonics funding program:

This is an open invitation to all schools to improve the way they teach systematic synthetic phonics – the tried and tested method of improving the reading of all our children, especially the weakest.

Some evidence from The Importance of Phonics: Securing Confident Reading evidence paper.

The importance of a systematic approach to phonics instruction

Recent inspection evidence from a sample of 12 primary schools supports this view….

In 2006, the Department for Education and Skills commissioned the Universities of York and Sheffield to conduct a review of the experimental research on using phonics to teach reading and spelling. Torgerson, Hall and Brooks found that systematic phonics teaching “enables children to make better progress in reading accuracy than unsystematic or no phonics, and that this is true for both normally-developing children and those at risk of failure” (2006)

In Australia, the committee for the National Inquiry into the Teaching of Literacy produced the report ‘Teaching Reading’ (2005). The committee concluded: “The evidence is clear, whether from research, good practice observed in schools, advice from submissions to the Inquiry, consultations [...] that direct systematic instruction in phonics during the early years of schooling is an essential foundation for teaching children to read. …systematic phonics instruction is critical if children are to be taught to read well, whether or not they experience reading difficulties. [...] Moreover, where there is unsystematic or no phonics instruction, children’s literacy progress is significantly impeded, inhibiting their initial and subsequent growth in reading accuracy, fluency, writing, spelling and comprehension.”

In England, Jim Rose (2006) in his ‘Independent Review of the Teaching of Early Reading, Final Report’ emphasised that beginner readers should be taught using a systematic approach to phonics and cautioned that evidence submitted to the review suggested that, for almost all children, diluting the approach by using a mix of approaches can hinder children’s progress….

Related:

• Boy Oh Boy! by Malkin Dare (Society for Quality Education, 12/2010)
• Illiterate boys: The new international phenomenon by Dr Bonnie Macmillan (RRF Newsletter 51, 2004)
• Response to public consultation on the Year 1 phonics screening check (March 2011)
• Phonic teaching resources and funding for schools FAQs

Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – FIRST DRAFT being CONCRETE

I’m still on Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of Writing to the Point, and the latest assignment to write the first draft of an essay continues the focus on being specific and concrete.  (This is part of my project to study and learn the entire Six-Step method, explained in my initial post in this series.)  For a recap, here are Steps 1 through 4.

STEP 1. Write a short, simple declarative sentence that makes one statement. (Chapter 1, page 6)

STEP 2. Write three sentences about the sentence in Step 1—clearly and directly about the whole of that sentence, not just something in it. (Chapter 2, page 18.)

STEP 3. Write four or five sentences about each of the three sentences in Step 2—clearly and directly about the whole of the Step 2 sentence, not just something in it. (Chapter 3, page 31.)

STEP 4. Make the material in the four or five sentences of Step 3 as specific and concrete as possible. Go into detail. Use examples. Don’t ask, “What will I say next?” Instead, say some more about what you have just said. Your goal is to say a lot about a little, not a little about a lot.  (Chapter 4, page 43)

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ABSTRACT or GENERAL vs. CONCRETE or SPECIFIC:
To reiterate a point from the previous post, Kerrigan Method sentences X-1-2-3 are usually abstract or general.  In contrast, the sentences in the body of the paragraphs that follow from 1-2-3 must fill in the details by being concrete and specific.  Both types of sentences are vital to good writing.

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THE ASSIGNMENT
Write a theme on the following sentence X:  ”A student must have a regular schedule of study.” … be specific and concrete, far beyond what you feel necessary.  Go all out in this respect.  Go into detail .  Give examples.  Don’t feel ridiculous.  You are not expected to produce a “good” theme here, but you can make it a good exercise.

After considerable head scratching, here is what I wrote.

…
X  A student must have a regular schedule of study..
1.  A student needs a study schedule to maximize academic achievement.
2.  A student needs a study schedule to accommodate his other activities.
3.  A student needs a study schedule to maintain good health.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

X  A student must have a regular schedule of study.

1.  A student needs a study schedule to maximize academic achievement.  Since his first priority is usually his schooling, it is important that a student find ways to improve his academic performance.  One way to do that is to plan and implement a study schedule that will put his school work at the top of his list of things to do.  If getting an A in a chemistry test requires three hours of reviewing notes and practicing problems, then that time must be set aside to take precedence over television, Facebook or daydreaming.  For example, sometimes scheduling 20 minutes a day to review vocabulary words is the only way to get a top grade in Spanish class.

2.  A student needs a study schedule to accommodate his other activities.  While academics are his first priority, a student must also fit in all types of other activities into his routine.  Eating, sleeping, sports, club activities, and simply relaxing are usually all important aspects of a student’s life.  Without a schedule, time is frittered away and a student may end up sleep deprived or being kicked off the track team for missing practices.  All these different activities can be planned so a student will be able to perform competently in school and as well as in other parts of his life.

3.  A student needs a study schedule to maintain good health.  Without a schedule, the elements of a healthy lifestyle will suffer.  If a student neglects to plan ahead for sufficient study time, then he may find himself up late at night cramming for a test when he should be sleeping.  He may find himself eating on the run, which often means fast food and cookies instead of healthier options.  This can lead to poor nutrition, weight gain, or more serious medical conditions.  Making time for adequate studying causes a student to feel well-prepared, while the opposite causes stress.  Sleep deprivation, poor eating habits and high stress can be avoided by a well-planned study schedule.

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WHAT I LEARNED
There is always room for more detail.  Even when you think you’ve put in as much as can, you can usually squeeze in some more.  Editing out excessive information can be done later in the process, as I will probably learn in future assignments..
.… 

Previous posts in this series:

• The Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 1 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – SUBJECT & PREDICATE
• Step 3 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being SPECIFIC
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being CONCRETE
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – going into DETAIL
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – using EXAMPLES
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – ABSTRACT vs. CONCRETE
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – FUNCTION OF A PARAGRAPH

Step 1 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – SUBJECT & PREDICATE

I’m backtracking to cover some basic elements of  Kerrigan’s Writing to the Point Step 1, omitted in my previous posts. (For new readers, this is my project to study and learn the entire Six-Step method, explained in my initial post in this series.)

Here is Kerrigan’s first step in writing an expository essay:

STEP 1. Write a short, simple declarative sentence that makes one statement. (Chapter 1, page 6)

.

The Step 1 sentence is what Kerrigan calls the X-sentence, and it should have a SUBJECT and a PREDICATE.

First, a review of some basic grammar:

The subject is the person or thing that acts or is described in the sentence. The predicate, on the other hand, is that action or description.

At a basic level, the X-sentence will look like this:

Subject———1———1———1—–Predicate
Somebody or something …………… is something
Somebody or something …………… was something
Somebody or something …………… does something
Somebody or something …………… did something

Examples:
Subject———1———1———1—–Predicate
Oxygen ………………………………………. is essential for life.
George Carlin …………………………….. was funny.
Power …………………………………………. corrupts.
Grandma …………………………………….. taught us valuable lessons.

Subject and predicate – both must be parts of the X-sentence.

The X-sentence is the thesis of the essay.

A subject without a predicate is a topic, but not a thesis. For expository writing you need a thesis, not just a topic.  This is an essential point in the Writing to the Point method.  The supporting details for the thesis flow from the X-sentence, creating the structure that makes the essay concise, clear and to the point.

Here are a few more examples of X-sentences:

X  Autumn is an exhilarating time of year.
X  Hosting a teen party can be nerve-wracking.
X  The Penn State scandal is a tragic event. 

Other characteristics of the X-sentence:

• Short and simple
• Declarative sentence – a statement, not a question or a command
• Should make only one statement

All this is basic stuff, right?  Sometimes kids don’t learn (or remember) basic stuff.  I’m sometimes surprised at what kids are not taught in school.

Previous posts in this series:

• The Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 3 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being SPECIFIC
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being CONCRETE
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – going into DETAIL
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – using EXAMPLES
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – ABSTRACT vs. CONCRETE
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – FUNCTION OF A PARAGRAPH

Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – FUNCTION OF A PARAGRAPH

Although I’ve lost some momentum in getting through my writing project, today I’m going back on track to write about the next segment.  The topic is the all-important “function of the paragraph” as explained in Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of Writing to the Point.  (For new readers, this is my project to study and learn the entire Six-Step method, explained in my initial post in this series.)  For a recap, here are Steps 1 through 4.

STEP 1. Write a short, simple declarative sentence that makes one statement. (Chapter 1, page 6)

STEP 2. Write three sentences about the sentence in Step 1—clearly and directly about the whole of that sentence, not just something in it. (Chapter 2, page 18.)

STEP 3. Write four or five sentences about each of the three sentences in Step 2—clearly and directly about the whole of the Step 2 sentence, not just something in it. (Chapter 3, page 31.)

STEP 4. Make the material in the four or five sentences of Step 3 as specific and concrete as possible. Go into detail. Use examples. Don’t ask, “What will I say next?” Instead, say some more about what you have just said. Your goal is to say a lot about a little, not a little about a lot.  (Chapter 4, page 43)

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F. THE FUNCTION OF A PARAGRAPH:
First, let’s look at the Kerrigan X-1-2-3 sentence structure, and relate it to the more traditional names used by instructors.

Traditional names for X-1-2-3:
–  X is commonly called a thesis sentence, thesis, thesis statement, main idea, or theme sentence
–  1-2-3 are topic sentences

Function of a paragraph:

… a paragraph is a group of sentences whose only function is to provide specific, concrete details for the thought expressed in its topic sentence.

This is very important!  Don’t include extra stuff in your paragraph, even if it sounds good!  I suspect many developing writers break this rule often, resulting in less coherent, wordy, rambling essays that distract and tire the reader while failing to clearly make their point.  [This blogger is guilty as charged!]

I like this passage, having seen young writers struggle this way.

If writing seemed to you, before you began to study this book, a process of putting down one thought, then thinking of another thought and putting it down, then racking your brains to think of still another; then a paragraph, for you, meant an indentation marking some greater break in thought than occurs between sentences. *

By the way, the punctuation (especially the semicolon) in the sentence quoted above intrigues me, but I’ll not explore further for now and just assume it is correct.  This is Kerrigan writing, after all.

Editing is vital
If the paragraph’s function is solely to elaborate and explain more about the topic sentence, than  it is almost inevitable that some editing must occur.  Here’s Kerrigan on the pain of deleting material.

If you plant a vegetable garden, you may have to pull out a flower simply because it does not belong.

Even if it’s a gorgeous bloom that has touched your heart, yank it out if it doesn’t belong.

…
WHAT I LEARNED
Stick to the topic in your first sentence!

* CORRECTIONS IN RED

…
Previous posts in this series:

• The Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 3 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being SPECIFIC
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being CONCRETE
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – going into DETAIL
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – using EXAMPLES
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – ABSTRACT vs. CONCRETE

Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – ABSTRACT vs. CONCRETE

The distinction between abstract/general and concrete/specific is highlighted in this assignment that is part of Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of Writing to the Point.  (This is part of my project to study and learn the entire Six-Step method, explained in my initial post in this series.)  For a recap, here are Steps 1 through 4.

STEP 1. Write a short, simple declarative sentence that makes one statement. (Chapter 1, page 6)

STEP 2. Write three sentences about the sentence in Step 1—clearly and directly about the whole of that sentence, not just something in it. (Chapter 2, page 18.)

STEP 3. Write four or five sentences about each of the three sentences in Step 2—clearly and directly about the whole of the Step 2 sentence, not just something in it. (Chapter 3, page 31.)

STEP 4. Make the material in the four or five sentences of Step 3 as specific and concrete as possible. Go into detail. Use examples. Don’t ask, “What will I say next?” Instead, say some more about what you have just said. Your goal is to say a lot about a little, not a little about a lot.  (Chapter 4, page 43)

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E. ABSTRACT or GENERAL vs. CONCRETE or SPECIFIC:
By their very nature, sentences X-1-2-3  (Kerrigan Method Steps 1 & 2) are usually abstract or general.  The sentences that follow from 1-2-3 must fill in the details by being concrete and specific.  Both types of sentences are vital in good writing.

… True sophistication in writing requires not just the concrete and specific, nor just the abstract and general, but a skillful combination of the two.  Look at any professional writing you admire, and you’ll see what I mean.

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THE ASSIGNMENT
[W]rite two pairs of sentences.  The first sentence of each pair is to be in general, even abstract, terms; the second is to state the same idea in specific, concrete terms.

Example from the book:

1. GENERAL:  In her room I noticed two books.
2. SPECIFIC:  On the small table near Jessica’s plaid easy chair I noticed Heller’s Catch-22 and Galsworthy’s Man of Property. 

What I wrote:

1. GENERAL:  Today is gloomy
2. SPECIFIC:  Today I was forced to turn on my desk light because gray clouds are blocking any trace of sunlight while the constant drip of chilly raindrops is creating dampness in the air.

1. GENERAL:  My office is messy.
2. SPECIFIC:  Piles of books and papers cover most surfaces in my office, a shabby Easter basket filled with old scraps of paper is shoved in one corner, and various wires lay haphazardly around my desk.

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WHAT I LEARNED
Expressing the same idea in two distinct sentences, one using general terms and the other using details, made it easy to see the differences and the benefits of adding concrete details.  This would be a good exercise to do occasionally as a check if I’m including enough details in my writing or to remind me of the contrasts between both types of sentences. ..

Previous posts in this series:

• The Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 3 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being SPECIFIC
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – being CONCRETE
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – going into DETAIL
• Step 4 of the Kerrigan method of ‘Writing to the Point’ – using EXAMPLES