Posts tagged ‘divorce’

May 7, 2014

College financial aid advice for mothers going through a divorce

by Grace

Forbes contributor Jeff Landers answers a few of the most common questions that women going through a divorce have about college financial aid. First, he explains which parent should file the FAFSA.  (The answer is the custodial parent.)  Then he explains why this matters.

Why does it matter who completes the form?

The FAFSA contains many detailed questions about a student’s family’s income and assets. The responses are entered into a formula that determines the Expected Family Contribution – in short, how much money you will be expected to come up with toward your child’s college expenses.

If you are the custodial parent, it’s your income and assets that go on the form. So if, for example, your ex-husband makes $500,000 a year in his business, and you make a tenth that much working part time from home, your child would likely be eligible for more financial aid if the eligibility is determined based on your income alone.

If the custodial parent remarries, the new spouse’s income and assets have to be listed on the FAFSA. Unfortunately, while it may not seem fair, that can lower your child’s eligibility for financial aid.

In his next answer, Landers goes on to shed light on the sometimes confusing details of non-federal financial aid.  Click on the link at the top of this post to see all the questions and answers.

Related:  Divorced or absent fathers are let off the hook in paying for their kids’ college (Cost of College) 

September 30, 2013

Higher divorce risk among marriages where wives earn more than husbands, but why?

by Grace

Despite a worldwide increase in marriages where wives are more educated than their husbands, “there are so very few marriages where women earn more than their husbands”.  And these marriages are more likely to lead to divorce.

… Evidence suggests that couples are less likely to get married if the woman’s income exceeds her partner’s. Once married, a wife earning more than her husband is more likely to be unhappy in the marriage, more likely to feel pressured to take fewer hours, and more likely to get divorced.

In what Derek Thompson of the Atlantic describes as a “cool” research paper by Marianne Bertrand, Jessica Pan, and Emir Kamenica, an “intuitive” theory for these unhappy marriages is proposed.  It’s the husband’s fault.

… What if there’s a deficit of marriages where the wife is the top earner because — to put things bluntly — husbands hate being out-earned by their wives, and wives hate living with husbands who resent them?

If this were true, we would expect to see at least three four other things to be true. First, we’d expect marriages with female breadwinners to be surprisingly rare. Second, we’d expect them to produce unhappier marriages. Third, we might expect these women to cut back on hours, do more household, or make other gestures to make their husbands feel better. Fourth, we’d expect these marriages to end more in divorce. Lo and behold (as you no doubt guessed), the economists found all of those assumptions borne out by the evidence.

Wait a minute.  Commenters to this story argue that this is just as likely to be the wife’s fault. 

What is the basis for laying this issue squarely at the feet of men?

What if there’s a deficit of marriages where the wife is the top earner because — to put things bluntly — wives hate settling for men who earn less than them and many women’s hypergamy lead them to resenting husbands whom they out-earn.

If you’re going to resort to random speculation, why not speculate equitably.

This story follows what I’ve seen described as common rule of gender issue reporting; blame it on men.

It’s a fundamental law of gender-issue reporting. Should any inequity be discovered between men and women, it must always be framed as either advantageous towards women, or, if obviously disadvantageous towards women, be framed as somehow men’s fault.

More men graduating – this is obviously a product of a sexist society and we must spend resources and restructure society to rectify this travesty.

More women graduating – the is a natural consequence of earlier female maturity and better communication skills for an information-based economy.

Men make more money – Evil, sexist. We must ban pink princess toys and create a national daycare system.

Women make more money – Hail our new feminist overlords – it’s the End of Men and “Get over it, guys. It’s a woman’s world, now.”

What if “the wives resent their husbands as losers and parasites who are not as good as other men they know”?  Especially since “84% of working women want to stay home with kids”.

Related:  Trouble for some marriages where wives earn more than husbands (Cost of College)

April 11, 2013

How would you advise your daughter?

by Grace

Would you advise your daughter to look for a husband while she’s in college?

Susan Patton set off internet mania with her recent ‘letter to the Daily Princetonian newspaper advising the school’s female students: “You will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you. . . . Find a husband on campus before you graduate.”‘

Her advice proved wildly unpopular among a vocal segment of progressive thinkers.

Feminist attacks on Ms. Patton began immediately—the paper’s website was swamped with complaints, the Twitter crowd was livid, and writers lit into her at Slate, New York magazine and beyond.

Another mother gave the same advice.

Five years ago when she was a Dartmouth college junior, Emily Esfahani Smith was surprised when her mother gave her similar advice to start looking for a husband.  Why would “a strong, career-oriented feminist” start pressuring her daughter to get married?

..  She knew what few, if any, feminists would tell young women today: There is far more to happiness than career success.

It turns out academically gifted women value their careers less than similar men do.

Career success and relationships are both undoubtedly important to women’s happiness, but many young and ambitious women value their personal lives more than their career aspirations. And that feeling intensifies over time.

In a 2009 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, David Lubinski and his team at Vanderbilt found that in a sample of academically gifted young adults, women became less career-oriented than men over time. As they approached middle age, women also placed more value than men on spending time with family, community and friends. These differences became more pronounced with parenthood.

Some reasons to try for early marriage:

  1. There is a larger pool of eligible men for younger women, given the historical patterns of assortative mating and hypergamy.
  2. Finding the right husband is important whether a woman wants to prioritize career or family.
  3. A good marriage can be personally fulfilling.

Some reasons to wait:

  1. In some cases, early marriages are at greater risk of divorce.  (The more important factors correlating with higher divorce rates appear to be marriage at age 20 or younger and the lack of a college degree.)
  2. Marriage may limit a woman’s education and career choices.
  3. Some people need more time to develop and understand their values.

The middle ground:

… Don’t get married so young you don’t understand life, or too old that you can’t experience the joy of losing yourself in a loving spouse and family. I’d spend a couple years seeing the world after the Ivy League before making the leap.

Megan McArdle expounded on the topic, and made the point that the “age at which the right person comes along depends on luck, not some kind of calendar”.

In this annoying but slightly amusing video, Garfunkel and Oates sing about how things change for a woman between the ages of 29 and 31.


Related:

July 4, 2011

Divorce harms math scores

by Grace

The most notable aspects of these results were that the negative effects did not appear until after the divorce decision was made and the suggestion that the children never caught up with their peers.

Children struggle with maths and making friends when their parents divorce, a study has found….

Contrary to some previous research, children through primary school did not show any negative effects before the parents decided to split, the U.S. study found.

The five-year study compared emotional and academic development of children of divorce with those whose parents stayed together, by following 3,585 children from around the age of four….

‘My original prediction was that children of divorce would experience negative impacts even before formal divorce processes began. But the study finds this is not the case.’

Also this:

While the negative impacts do not continue to worsen several years after the divorce, “there is no sign that children of divorce catch up with their counterparts, either,” he added.

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