Many parents believe there are valid reasons for acting as your kid’s administrative assistant in the college application process. Here is how one mother expressed it in a CollegeConfidential thread:
I feel a like a helicopter mom… but my kid is so busy with 4 AP classes, tons of EC’s, and writing application essays like crazy. I’d rather she focus on getting A’s and writing good essays; I’ll happily do the labels and envelopes and online ordering.
College admissions is a high-stakes game, so I agree with this.
I am a helicopter mom when it comes to the college admissions because of one simple reason – it costs alot of money. I’m not just going to let my child go with it….
Kids tend to take the world as they find it, so unless the parent seeks out and presents opportunities, the kid is likely to miss some good ones. That’s been my primary role in the college search: suggesting colleges, arranging trip logistics, researching FA information and filling out EFC calculators.
In some cases, kids going it alone have needed therapy!
… Our D handled the entire college application process all by herself without asking or accepting any help from me or my husband. I’d like to point out that she was accepted to every single college she applied to. She applied for scholarships by herself and was awarded a full academic scholarship at the college she is currently attending.
The entire process was EXTREMELY STRESSFUL for her and she began to suffer from anxiety and depression for the first time in her life. We ended up getting her counseling. She is doing much, much better now….
D was very adamant about handling the entire admissions process without any assistance. I offered to help out on numerous occasions, but she firmly declined my offers. Even though it was extremely stressful, I believe that she gained a great deal of self-confidence. Believe me, I hated to see her suffer from anxiety. Her therapist agrees that she is a much stronger person now that she realizes that she is capable of handling life’s challenges on her own….
What’s the deal? Can’t the average kid handle the college application process on his own without ending up on the therapist’s couch? Why are parents so involved?
- It’s very expensive. Parents who want to be sure they’re getting the best deal feel they need to step in because their child is not savvy enough to handle that aspect of the college search.
- It’s very competitive. Applications often need to be packaged in a way that will make them stand out in the increasingly sophisticated enrollment management process.
- It makes a difference. Adding or removing a college from the list, not missing an important deadline, and suggesting essay topics can be key in opening up opportunities that otherwise would have been missed if a parent had let their kid go it alone.
Our local school guidance counselor did a terrific job in overseeing the college application process a few years ago, but from what I’ve read this is very unusual. Many high schools are understaffed or poorly informed, leaving students to fumble through the college choices, applications, recommendation letters and financial aid information on their own. Lucky is the kid whose parent will step in to help.
Cost of College 